The Ninja Bonbons
by FunkierThenMoonWalkingSharks
Summary: Just one kind of normal day when Kaharri and Koneko find a book! The Akatsuki want this magic book, but what did they do with it and what will the Akatsuki do when they find out? Tag-team fic.
1. The Book

~Koneko's POV~

The day started like any other. I started combing back my raggedy raging red hair and put on random clothes that may or may not have been clean, setting my feet into my boots and tromping off into the rain with my backpack at my side. Kaharri met me soon after, joining me on the way to school with her green hair molded to her head and silver eyes shimmering angrily at the rain.

"Wish the gods weren't pissing on me." She said absolutely seriously.

"Why didn't you bring a coat with a hood?" I chuckled, pulling an umbrella I saved for her out of my backpack and handing it over.

"My mom was on a rampage again…Had to get out quick."

"Ah." I smiled ruefully as we walked down the sidewalk. "Sorry about that then."

"No prob, no prob." She shook off, handing me a cup of coffee. "You, my friend, need to hyper up. We have classmates to trick!" It was true, a smile is the hardest way to hide your feelings, but very manipulative. Kaharri and I love to lure in unsuspecting classmates in with our innocent hyper nerdy charm, secretly gaining information on them and creating stories. That was our fun. Leave us be. I sighed, drinking in the hot bitter liquid. I hated coffee, in fact, I believe we both did. Either way, it was needed. I looked down an alleyway, noticing something laying in the dirt.

"Hey Kaharri…What's that?" I asked.

"It looks like a book…" She shrugged, starting to walk off.

"There's something odd about this book though…The ground around it is dry…"

"You're right…" She lingered, picking up the book and looking at it. "You think it's magic?"

"Maybe. Here, I'll put it in my backpack and we can look at it later, when it's not raining." I explained, slipping the book into my backpack.

"Quick or we'll be late for school!" She giggled, running away. She was already in character. I sighed, chasing after her and laughing like an idiot into the building.

"Give me back my pocky, Ka-Chan!" I giggled, tackling the girl to the ground once we were inside. She laughed, wrestling away from me and latching onto the legs of our latest victim.

"Matt-kun! Save me! Ko-Chan caught me in her pocky stash!"

"I would have shared if you said the magic words!" I glared at her half-heartedly, my own innocent voice made me want to puke. It would be a long day…

Later on, Ka-Chan and I were in study hall, passing notes since all of our work was done.

_Hey Kaharri, my place after school for Anime night? _I jotted down, sliding it over to her.

_That was tonight! _She looked at me with shock.

_Yeah, why? Do you have something planned? _

_No, I just didn't realize that was tonight. My mom might throw a fit.- _I stopped reading her note when there was a sudden bang. Kaharri and I simultaneously looked under our feet to see a swirl of black, white and green grab our legs and pull us down. I managed to make a small squeak before conscious left me like pulling hairs out of your head.

I awoke to the sound of snoring. I opened my eyes to see it was not any brighter than when my eyes were closed. I felt around and randomly groped someone's face, realizing it was Kaharri and relaxing slightly, she always snored. I didn't have much room to move, like we were in a cocoon or something. I felt sick, the cocoon kept moving and wriggling which was bound determined to work up my lunch. Suddenly, both me and Ka-Chan were dumped out of our mystery container and onto the hard and rather cold ground. Light flooded into my eyes and they began to smoke. I then became a vampire as my eyes burned into empty sockets. **(Not really)**

"MY EYES!" I screamed, writhing on the ground and accidentally **(It was on purpose, but don't tell Kaharri…) **kicking Kaharri in the face, stopping her snoring and rousing her into consciousness.

"MY FACE!" She screamed, also writhing on the ground. She continued to thrash around for a good five minutes as I looked where we were. We were in a small cell, stone all around. There was a toilet and a cracked mirror, but that was all. I nudged my friend, making her look also, she gasped.

"So, we finally found a vortex of doom to take us to an alternate universe. But here's the question, which one?" I asked.

"I don't know, and I'm hungry."

"I don't know how long we were asleep, but I feel like I'm dying of hunger too." I said, rummaging around my backpack. "Alright, I've got a tub of butter and that book we found. An odd combination…but what the hey." I shrugged, pouring the butter on the book and ripping it in half. I handed one half to Kaharri. She attacked it like a rabid wolf, with so much enthusiasm that if I didn't move my hand a moment before, it would have been gone. I shrugged, eating my half as well. I finished with a burp, looking for something to wash down the old-book-and-fairy-dust taste. Finding nothing, I sighed.

"Kind of wish I read the book first." I chuckled.

"Bit too late now, unless you give me three days for it to come out the other-"

"To much information! LALALALA!" I plugged my ears. Suddenly, a ray of heat burst out of Kaharri's eyes and hit one of the metal bars of the prison cell. I looked at her.

"What the hell was that?" I looked at her wide-eyed.

"That, my friend, I believe was heat vision."

"…Think it came from the book?"

"Where else would I get heat vision! I didn't go rolling around in radioactive snot!"

"How the hell was it turned on?"

"I get irritated when you scream loudly…" Kaharri said sheepishly.

"Oh…well…Do you think I have an awesome power?"

"Maybe, you ate the first half of the book…that might have just been instructions. HA!" Kaharri laughed.

"Oh come on." I glared at her. In a flash, she turned into a hunk of ice, frozen in the position of flipping me off. Lovely. Just as quick, the ice cracked due to her heat vision and she broke out of her ice prison.

"Now we know!" Kaharri said drably.

"Sorry…" I said guiltily. "So the book was fire and ice…like the condom!"

"Yes Koneko, like the condom." She patted my head.

A couple hours later, Kaharri and I were bored out of our minds playing I spy **(I spy with my little eye something grey…)[Is it a rock?](Dammit, yes…)**when someone decided to visit. The door cracked open and Zetsu moseyed through.

"Kaharri…since when does Zetsu _walk _places instead of that melting thing he does?" I whispered.

"I don't know, but I am suppressing the urge to squee." She muttered back.

"You are most likely wondering why you are here. **You have a book in your possession that has magical properties. We need it.**" Zetsu looked at us expectantly.

"Um…We ate it." I said sheepishly.

"You ate the book…?" Zetsu raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. That's what I just said. With butter, I might add."

"…**I must go speak to Leader.**" And with that, he left us in the dark again.

"I'm guessing we should _not _done that." Kaharri meeped.

"…As am I."

**Koneko: Alright, so how was the first chapter? Review and add this to your favorites or I will sacrifice you to Jashin-Sama with a spork.**

**Chaotically yours,**

**Ka-Chan & Ko-Chan**

**(OR IS IT!)**


	2. The Deal

~Koneko's POV~

I sighed in content as I rested upon the stone wall of our prison, awaiting our most likely terrible and untimely death. Kaharri was snoring, apparently incredibly bored since she rarely sleeps so soundly.

"**Leader will see you now**. If you want we can carry your friend so we don't wake her." Zetsu opened the door, letting in a horrible amount of light.

"Um, that's alright." I said, nudging the girl. Kaharri choked slightly, murmuring before rolling over. I raised an eyebrow, kicking her in the side. She yelped, jumping to attention and nearly into the chess-board ninja's arms. I chuckled slightly.

"What was that for!" She said indignantly. I rolled my eyes and gestured wildly to the plant-man.

"Do I have to write it out in green, black and white!"

"**If you two will stop yelling, **Leader will see you now." Zetsu repeated.

"Alrighty then. Let us face our imminent doom!" Kaharri cheered.

"Hizah for imminent doom and doomness and doomitude!" I smiled, skipping down the hallway next to my mutant-cousin-monkey-sister thirty times removed. **(That's Koneko's way of saying they're not related.)**

Now, there is a nice way to put things, and the truthful way. The nice way would be that Pein was severely disappointed with our choice of eating the book, but truthfully, he was PISSED. I have never seen anyone so livid besides the time I poured hot sauce on the toilet seat.

"Calm down." Kaharri tried to reason. Pein just sputtered, making me want to slap him for being a whiny dumb person. Which is the nice way to put the evil words forming in my brain.

"Take a chill pill." I scowled at him, and instantly he turned into a block of ice. "HA! Pun intended!"

"You just froze the figurehead of an evil gang of criminals. I'm so not sticking up for you when they eat your soul." Kaharri backed away.

"Hey! We're in this together whether you like it or not!"

"Nope. I bail. You're on your own!" She squeaked, running out the door and skidding around the corner. I heard a scream of terror before she bounced back toward me, tackling me in order to close the door and barricade it with Pein's frozen form.

"Do you think villains do Christmas cards? Because I think this moment right here is fridge-worthy." I said, making a camera with my hands.

"Do you know who is on the other side of that door?" She turned to me, seriously scared out of her mind.

"No."

"A very ticked off Madara freaking Uchiha!" At those words, I paled.

"Oh dear. Well, if he were really ticked off, he would just do that warp thing in here and _then _murder us, he wouldn't try to break down the door like the Gatherer." I reasoned. Not a moment later did a chuckle sound from behind me. A rather evil chuckle. I almost literally shat my pants.

"I really don't want to turn around, but I'm guessing Madara is there." Kaharri squeaked. I nodded.

"Figured that out all by yourself?" I retorted.

"Ehm." Madara coughed, making me sigh and turn around.

"Yes?" I asked impatiently.

"Well, it seems, if I can't use the power itself, I can just use you." Madara shrugged casually.

"That's nice. Who says we'll work for you?" Kaharri said, putting her hands on her hips sassy style.

"If you don't, I'll kill one of you."

**Koneko: Short, but I wasn't supposed to write this chapter and only just came up with it. Kaharri is apparently banned from the computer, so what do you want from me! Review and add this to your favorites or I will sacrifice you to Jashin-Sama with a spork.**

**Chaotically yours,**

**Ka-Chan & Ko-Chan**

**(OR IS IT!)**


End file.
